Guinea Pig Experiment #20: Scuba

My boyfriend wanted to ogle me in a sexy swimsuit during the winter. Instead of giving me one of Bikini Bay’s finest thongs for Christmas, he decided to enroll me in a NAUI SCUBA diver course with the University of Toronto’s Hart House Underwater Club.

Guinea Pig Experiment #19: Cellulite Cream

With a fun-in-the-sun vacation planned in 10 days and no real desire to work out, my dimply thighs aren’t getting any thinner and those dimples seem keen to accompany me on my trip.

Guinea Pig Experiment # 18 - Airbrush Foundation

I want skin that looks flawless, photoshopped and, well, airbrushed.

Guinea Pig Experiment #17: Podfitness

There’s a gym in my building that I never use because I don’t really like working out on machines. I prefer classes because I’m told exactly what to do and don’t get bored. A personal trainer might force me to power through more than 10 minutes before going back upstairs and eating chocolate… but I can’t afford one.

Guinea Pig Experiment #16: Parasailing in the Bahamas

I’ve already tried to curb my fear of heights with rock climbing (I was still very, very afraid), so I’m pretty sure that although I’m scared, I won’t die. Parasailing is mostly for amusement, it’s not a sport like hang gliding or paragliding. Basically, you’re strapped to a parachute attached to a boat, which uses wind to get you airborne for a couple of minutes.

If You Build It, I Will Come

Guinea Pig Experiment #15: Habitat for Humanity Build

The Cleanse - Part 3

Day Ten: Sick of the cleanse I’ve only got two days left. I’m sick of bananas and strawberries and being hungry.

The Cleanse - Part 2

Day Six: Parties are less fun when you can’t eat the cupcakes At the risk of sounding like a whinefest, weekends are the least fun on the cleanse!

The Cleanse - Part 1

The problem: My unhealthy eating habits. Hypothesis: If my roommate and I do a cleanse, we’ll be healthier and understand what we’re putting in our bodies.

Working Out with the Stars

The Problem: I’m wondering if my low-end stripper-laden gym leaves something to be desired.

Situation Cuticle

The Problem: He Says: My loving wife refused to touch my feet due to heavy callus buildup and an overall buildup of rough and cracked skin. She suggested I get a pedicure.

Some Like It Hot

Guinea Pig Experiment #11: Hot Yoga The Problem: I need to add “limber” to my list of awesome skills.

Kayak It Like It’s Hot

If I take a kayaking lesson, I am closer to being able to MacGyver my way out of any situation. Such as a kayaking situation.

En Garde!

I thought fencing would be very cool. Most of what I knew about it came from my ownership of The Princess Bride DVD. I was all like, “My name is Nicolle Weeks. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” Oh, I was ready all right. Who knew that it was an art and a science? Well, fencers and Wikipedia. But not me.

Spin Your Wheels

The problem: My reluctance to try spinning. Hypothesis: If I do spynga, then I can conquer my fear of spinning and burn many calories in an hour.

Kick It at Kickboxing

Hypothesis: If I learn to box, I’ll be hotter than Michelle Rodriguez in Girlfight. And perhaps I’ll be able to whoop people’s bums.

Rock the climbing

The problem: My bye-bye arms. Hypothesis: If I go rock climbing, then I can be “extreme” and survive if I ever fall down the side of a mountain.

Let Your Chakras Feel the Heat

The problem: My unbalanced chakra. (Chakra, according to Merriam-Webster, is “any of several points of physical or spiritual energy in the human body, according to yoga philosophy.”) Hypothesis: If I get a hot stone Reiki massage, I will be more relaxed and at ease with the world.

Be a Booty Girl

The problem: My flabby butt. Hypothesis: If I go to hip-hop class, then I can booty shake with the best of them while maintaining a “slammin” body (see Save the Last Dance for proper usage of the word “slammin”).

Feel Sexy and Work Yo' Belly

The problem: My un-Shakira-like dance floor shenanigans. Hypothesis: If I go to bellydance class, then I can learn to writhe and jiggle in a sexy manner while working several muscle groups.

Bend It Like Beckham with Pilates

The problem: Where to begin? Well, how about with my un-toned muscles and inability to touch my toes without bending my knees. Hypothesis: If I go to Pilates class, I will be relaxed, long, lean and will be able to wear yoga pants without a baggy t-shirt over top.

Go Sledding, Girl

The Problem: My inability to pull myself away from making sock puppets and watching movies on snowy weekends in the city. Hypothesis: If I go dog sledding, I will feel more in touch with our lovely Canadian winters and I will have a better story to tell at the next social function (anything is better than “I made a sock puppet Saturday night”).